


Grasping Lightning

by Kyara313



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Basically, Canon-spoilers, Fluff, Friendship, Killua and Gon pining for each other, M/M, alternative universe, character introspection, romantic hints
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5708725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyara313/pseuds/Kyara313
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Being with you is like..."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Gon grins at Killua, "It's like trying to grasp lightning. It hurts, and something's bound to change after you finally hold it- but I know I'm doing something incredible." </p><p>Just by being with you.</p><p> <br/>A collection of Killua and Gon in many different worlds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grasping Lightning: a prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua makes Gon wonder if this is what it feels like to grasp lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm finally back with some Hunter x Hunter drabbles I've saved up over the years! I remember writing a lot of these back when HxH 2011 was airing, so the first few take place in the canon universe at particular times in the story. But I'll get more specific as I post each one. (^_^) 
> 
> I decided to whip up a new piece since the summary snippet turned into a whole little thing here. I couldn't stop once I started. I'm starting to remember how much fun I had writing Killua's and Gon's personality, I really did miss them! 
> 
> Well that's enough of me, please enjoy my fragments of AUs and the like for the Hunter x Hunter cast! 
> 
> Happy reading!

"Being with you is like…" Gon trails off for a moment, his bright amber eyes staring off into the overcast sky full of promise of a storm. 

Killua’s mouth turns down and eyebrows scrunch together in guarded concern as he observes his friend carefully. It’s always an experience whenever Gon ponders something about him. He never knows what to expect from the young hunter.

“What?” He grunts out reluctantly, dark blue gaze starting to wander back to his shoes as his legs swing back and forth amongst their sitting place upon a large and sturdy tree branch.

Gon comes back from his reverie and grins at Killua, “It’s like trying to grasp lightning.”

Killua is full-out scowling now, “And what the hell does that mean? Isn’t that painful?” 

“It means!” Gon puts emphasis on the last word as a hint of pout enters his voice, Killua bets his friend is wondering why he didn’t get it the first time around. Well excuse him for not getting nature references very well. His only reference concerning electricity is…well. Family related. 

“It means,” Gon starts again with less annoyance after noticing Killua’s silence, “That it hurts, sometimes. And something’s bound to change after you finally hold it—but” the dark-haired makes sure to catch his best friend’s glum gaze as he finishes. “I know I’m doing something incredible.”

The fact of just being together with you is amazing.

Taking a slow breath in, Killua understands his companion’s word clearly like they were his own. 

He exhales just as slowly as his chest constricts in a painful yet pleasant tug, and unlike the times at the beginning of his friendship with Gon, he can speak without his mouth going dry (or voice shaky) in nervousness or fright of rejection. His lips tug upward in what is probably a clumsy bashful but sincere smile.

“I—diot.” He lilts in a singsong tone, lifting a hand from it’s place on the tree branch to knock on his friend’s shoulder gently. Like himself, Gon doesn’t puff up and take offense like he used to at being called an idiot, instead he laughs at the playful tone and scratches the back of his head in a gesture of embarrassment. 

The hunter waits for the other’s laughter to subside, and meets that joy-filled amber gaze once more with his own warm blue orbs. 

And—

“You mean, **we’re** doing something incredible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It goes both ways! (*≧▽≦) (And Gon-logic for that simile there...)
> 
> I...I am so out of practice with these two, it's been too long my precious hunter boys! 
> 
> I originally planned to post up an older and much darker first piece, but it felt weird to start on something not fluffy, so....
> 
> I have no idea what my pacing will be for this collection, maybe once a week or twice at the beginning until I run out of already-written stuff. Who knows maybe I'll add some new ones to the mix like this one! I apologize in advance for my whimsicalness. 
> 
> I would love it if you would comment below, it keeps me motivated (this is my first time I'm showing my HxH writing so I'm super nervous)! I hope you enjoyed my little drabble, please let me know! 
> 
> Until next time!


	2. Bleeding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, he wish he'd never met Gon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Killua-centric introspection. 
> 
> Spoilers for the Chimera-Ant arc in it's entirety. And the angst begins. You have been warned.

If he had known things were going to end up as they did…

Sometimes, he wish he hadn’t ever met Gon.

It's just— it would have been so much easier to have a heart made out of stone. Or not knowing he had one at all, so much _easier._

Was this to be what was left of him? This deep unending pain of heartbreak. He had been left behind, he was realizing this very clearly now. Pushed out of Gon's mind and heart and left to watch him crumble in front of him.

He never realized how much a few words could _hurt._ How much that last smile and tears were directed at _him, finally._ Only to be left behind again.

It felt like, despite how fast he is in his Godspeed form, he could never reach Gon. That the boy who was no older than he was (such a cruel cruel world for that matter), had dashed ahead to a place he couldn't reach. Could possibly never reach.

Maybe Gon didn't want to be followed.

But...

Things weren't supposed to end this way. _He_ was the one that was supposed to leave Gon, not the other way around! It was so frustrating, and painful. So much raw pain, in a place he never realized he had to guard before. In a place where he didn't know how to guard for.

His heart.

Sometimes, he wish he'd never met Gon.

He'd go to the exact moment in his sharp memory, try to alter things a little bit differently, if he was only a little more ahead in the group, then Leorio wouldn't have spotted him. If only—

No. They would have met anyway.

If only he didn't have to rebel against the set life before him, if only he resigned himself to continue killing people as his profession, he could get used to that mind-numbing, heart-freezing work.

And yet at the same time, he wish he could be by his best friend's side forever. Deep deep down, that's what he honestly thought.

And he honestly believed that's what Gon wanted too.

"The one that Gon needs the most is you." You are the most important existence in his life. To remain as he is, he _needs_ you. That stupid woman Palm said. So heartfelt that she was nearly in tears of her own.

His mind and memories feuded with that one phrase and its implications. Believing, yet not believing.

But maybe,

_blood. So much blood._

_Nen, overflowing in powerful waves. Gon's nen. And Pitou's._

_A man who had Gon's voice. A little deeper, sure, but even his eyes were the same._

_And he'd never mistake that aura._

_He cried out his name._

_And before everything was enveloped in white, dark eyes turned to him with tears,_

_"Killua..."_

What was he going to say? Killua had failed in protecting Gon. Gon had gone off on his own, leaving him behind to clean up the mess.

He didn't know what happened to have the boy almost die in front of him. His emotions were a crazy mess when he regained his senses. He could barely stand straight.

And his heart beat so wildly. He was so scared. So _scared._

When they reached the hospital and Gon was rushed off to the emergency care, it was then that the air left him and he collapsed right then and there.

Next thing he knew, he was standing in front of the hospital bed, hearing the ones he and Gon befriended on the boy's journey to meet his dad, the great hunter Ging, crying out his name.

The swell in his throat made it so he couldn't even whisper that name.

Not even when he was alone, staring blankly into the glass window and at the bed with that infuriating beeping heart monitor and—

It was then that he decided.

Just this once, he wouldn't forgive Gon.

Just this once, he would save the boy's life, hopefully never again having to think that Gon might actually be _dying._

Just this once, he wanted to hear a thank you more than an apology.

Only this once, could he risk his life to save another.

Only this once, would his heart bleed so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember reading the later chapters of the Chimera-Ant arc along with the ending for the next arc after this and coming away all jumbled-up inside whenever I thought about Killua. What had he thought about the entire situation involving Gon and what had become of him? 
> 
> Of them? 
> 
> I know that the next time we saw them interact after Gon was healed was Gon apologizing profusely to Killua, and Killua waving it off. I guess I love-hate the fact that we never get to see that vital interaction between Gon and Killua right after Alluka heals Gon. Were there tears? Anger? Clearly everything had not mended between the two as they parted ways. This fragment was my way of working-out what Killua might have felt during that time...
> 
> Any thoughts, comments? I'd love to hear from you! Thank you for reading!


	3. What He Cherishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was strange, how alluring Killua could be when he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Chimera Ant arc (and what happens after involving Gon) spoilers.

It was strange, how alluring Killua could be when he cried.

Little drops of crystal would cascade down the boy's fair pale cheek. His sapphire-colored eyes would become just a little lighter, swirling with more tears to come.  

Gon realized it was a little strange, to be so enthralled by his best friend's crying face. 

He understood that the best, and so he said nothing.

But then, _things happened—_ a rage filled him so deeply that he almost lost himself. He was unfamiliar to feeling such a freezing burning hatred, he knew he should have been frightened with himself, but at the time, he could barely care. 

It was safe to say, Gon forgot himself for an instant. Time and space just seemed to _collide_ and he didn't know anymore. 

Until—

"GON!"

Horror-filled indigo eyes. White electricity scrambling and dancing around him. Even his white hair was sharp and charged, giving off a vivid blue hue. 

_Killua_

Then. Nothing. Not even a dream. It was then, he truly lost himself. 

Pitou was no more.

Kite was no more.

Gon was no more.

Even Killua. Whenever he looks back at the time between, he is overcome by this sharp fear. He even forgot his closest partner during those moments. Though no one really blamed him. Kite gently stroked his head as he explained what happened during _then._ He had not said a word to anyone about what happened before he visited his teacher. He had not mentioned that terrifying moment when he forgot who he was and his best friend's name while he woke to an unshed tear-filled hopeful and yet distraught young face. 

Gon felt anger at himself. 

How could he forget? How _dare_ he forget...

But he did, and it will always be a memory he loathes. An unnamed feeling in him propels him to swear—He won't _ever_ allow himself to become lost ever again.

But this was about those tears his dear friend had shed.

While he lay on that bed babbling about everything and nothing, filling the air, making the tense space full of something, he thinks he might have let it slip that he thought Killua's tears were beautiful. Because Killua suddenly became rigid, and that unmistakable scarlet (which is impossible to hide for the young assassin, and Gon loves it to Killua's chagrin) dapples his cheeks and he stutters Gon’s name in a shaky huff, flustered. Sky blue eyes trembling in tenderness, he just grips Gon's hand a little tighter and doesn't even bother to wipe his tears away as he chokes out a laugh. 

Gon barely notices the little girl, Killua's sister Alluka, he recalls Killua saying, who looks up, startled at her brother’s display of fragility. She gives her brother a searching look before dropping his hand and stepping away to give them privacy after finding what she did. 

(As much privacy as you can get with doctors gaping at you in amazement.)

Killua then wraps his arms around him until all he can see sense and smell is _Killua_ and they're both laughing because _finally_ they are both right here.   

Gon decides that he likes Killua's smile a whole lot more than his tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another one of my older works! I hope you liked it!
> 
> Gon is easy and yet hard to write argggh. 
> 
> Overall I'm pretty satisfied on how I ended this, but I do end on a flashback so I apologize if that's weird for anyone. Drabbles tend to be like this for me (a bit on the nonsensical side). m(_ _)m 
> 
> I hope that this was a little happier(?) to read. Any thoughts? Please let me know!
> 
> I'm switching gears with my next piece, so please look forward to my first AU of this collection!


	4. Summer Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a different summer. (A meeting between the two.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, a vacation trip and starting a new job later, and here I am delivering at last a longer excerpt of a random AU I had tucked away featuring my favorite young hunters. 
> 
> Happy reading!

“He’s a kind boy.”

“Mnhm.” The child acknowledged with a slight nod and distracted eyes. He fiddled with the choco-robot in his hand, lifting the arm up and down from its original position again and again as the adult spoke. 

“But don’t get too close to him.” Illumi stated monotonously with a hint of warning as he turned the steering wheel towards a unused-looking dirt road. 

The constant hum of the car wheels on asphalt came to a stop as an erratic growl and thumping ensued, jostling the driver and the small passenger inside.

The elder’s words made the white-haired boy look up, his interest caught from his previous activity. “Why? Didn’t you just say he was a nice kid?”

“You’re the same age, Kill.” The older couldn’t help but point out as he appeared unfazed by the change of surroundings and continued at the same speed as he had on a paved road. Knowing how his older brother is, Killua tried to take no mind as the uneven bumps continued, but brought his pale hand to the seat beside him without hiding his annoyance. 

“And that’s why.” Illumi said ambiguously as the ever-lush green foliage started to thin out to a wide pasture of pale green tall grass. 

Killua’s thin white eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and puzzlement. “And that’s why what?” He tried to get more of an answer out of his brother, but the driver stayed silent. 

“You’ll regret it, Kill.” Before Killua could get an opposing word in, he continued, “I know you will. After all, I’m the one who practically raised you.” 

“Gin did too, and Gotoh and even K—”

“But I was the one who taught you **how to live up to our family name’s legacy**.”

_‘Creepy.’_ Killua caught himself thinking as he gulped silently, moving to sit up straight as the terrain evened out. His brother’s eyes looked like a dead fish as he said that. Unreadable. Yet undeniable. 

“And look, now we’re here.” Illumi's tone lightened to as singsongy as it could get, as he slowed to a stop nearby a man-made wooden fence and put the jeep in park. “Time to get out your things.”

_‘You claim you’ve raised me and yet are so eager to get rid of me.’_ The younger sighed and stuffed his chocorobo into his pant’s pocket as he slid over and opened the door. “You don’t even try to hide it.” He muttered to himself, letting the summer humidity smother his words, feeling the air become even harder to breathe.

God he was going to hate this.

Scratch that, he already hated it.

The thirteen year old dragged his sneakered feet to the trunk and let his arms get filled with his backpack and luggage. Illumi didn’t seem to mind his lack of enthusiasm, or to help out. 

When nothing remained in the trunk and back seat (“I always have to double check with you, since you leave behind the strangest things Kill—“ “I know **I know**.”) the taller slammed the car doors shut and strode towards what appeared to be the entrance to the farm slash house that loomed before them.

Fingering his latest almost-forgotten item (he put on his backpack and looped the medium-sized suitcase through his slim arm, held the other plastic bag with other miscellaneous stuff in the same hand) in his right hand: a three-dimensional star-shaped pale blue crystal that appeared easy to break, which gently poked his palm and fingers as he rolled it back and forth.

Why in the world did he bring this? The white-haired wondered distractedly as he half-heartedly listened to his brother fish out a key and unlock the door. 

He decided he would toss it as soon as possible. Preferably into a live fire that throbs on the air around him surrounded by what made up the night. Well. He didn’t know where that thought really came from. Gin must’ve rubbed off on him more than he thought.

Perplexed (and weirded out) by his own thoughts, he was brought back to attention by a clamor of noise as rapid-thudding echoed around him as he stepped into the living/dining room and kitchen all connected and practically one large room. 

Footsteps. 

“He’s here he’s here!” The pale-haired heard an excited whisper as a ball of green entered his vision with an amount of energy that made him visibly flinch ( _what the_ ** _hell_** _?)._

The clearest pure shade of amber eyes locked with his own ever-changing light blue eyes, and as he breathed in with a slight urgency ( _new people it’s a new person —why do they always make him freeze up?_ ) he was suddenly the victim of a vicious bear-hug.

“Wha—HEY, heyheyheyheyhey _space._ There’s space between us. Please.” The words tumbled out without permission —all jumbled in his rush to gather his thoughts and sensations again. Man having anxiety sucked. 

And the frazzled words —was he yelling them? Where the hell did Illumi go? That bastard. THAT BASTARD. He freaking left. Not even a verbal goodbye or _anything._ Parental figure his ass— seemed to get through to the ball of energy (was that even a _person?_ ) that was secure around him, as he was suddenly by himself. Less human warmth be damned (even in the summer being with Illumi felt…cold) he could breathe again, as he watched the boy —yes he was human— step back with a breathy laugh and freaking sparkling glittering shining amber eyes dancing with unabashed glee, arms going behind his back as if to restrain himself.

“Who are you?” He did not stutter or stumble, letting out the burning question a little dumbly. He blinked and wondered when the suitcase and plastic bag made it to the floor. Probably when he was **ambushed**. 

“Me?” The boy with gravity-defying dark hair clad in an obnoxious-shaded green jacket and shorts and pale brown high boots pointed to himself and tilted his head slightly. Cute. Wait what? 

“I’m Gon!” The boy all but chirped, spreading his arms out in emphasis. As if the name was like ‘Gon the dragon slayer’ or ‘Gon the adventurer’ and not ‘Gon the freak who knows no personal space’ (officially dubbed in Killua’s mind). “You’re Killua right? The one staying with us for the summer?” bouncing on his heels, enthusiasm at full blast. Killua’s mouth twitched. The crystal poked his palm painfully. 

He wondered if he should start running for Illumi’s car now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is all I had written up for this particular AU, with no continuation or anything. Heck, I'm not even sure where I was going with it, it just kinda happened one evening. I wanted to get into the grove of writing again and this is what popped out. 
> 
> I hope it was at least a little entertaining? 
> 
> Please leave a comment below, I still have things saved on my computer and I will feel more encouraged to edit and post them up if I know someone's interested...
> 
> The next update will be sometime this month with either a dark canon drabble or a little-bit-romantic (read: very) AU. It all depends on the mood I'm in, or if you comment to have your say on what I should post up next. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. The Changed Assassin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The desperate boy attempts to confirm his beliefs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a really long time! I'm terribly sorry for the wait! >_< I've been abroad to Tokyo, Japan and back since I've last posted up here. It was an amazing experience. ^_^ 
> 
> As for a little more context, I imagine this happening during the Chimera arc when Gon takes Palm out for a date and Killua shadows them. 
> 
> Happy reading as always dear readers!

Tears, blood, and bruises.

Blue eyes that turned violet in the night, shining with unshed tears. Pale skin ripped and tattered in small places decorated his young face. Vibrant, bright, heartrendingly so. His physical ailments could not dampen his internal freedom which he had earned with a struggle that could rival any death-impeding danger.

His lips had no struggle at all turning upwards, as he muffled the small jabbing pains that liked to flash and flare here and there. But he had to grin.

His small fist tightened until he heard a satisfying crunch. He then wiped his hands on his grass-stained pants, happiness still barely concealed.

Something was screaming at him. Interrupting the night life around him. The beauty of the moon ring, and the rustling of small creatures scavenging their domains. 

He said the final words it would hear in its world and then took its life.

He forgot that brains were icky. Yuck.

He wiped the blood on some nearby leaves and tree trunks, and electrified the rest away just for safe measure. At least the wilderness would accept half of its blood.

“Oh.” An extra tear rolled down his cheek from his right eye, as his cheeks started to go numb from smiling so much after so long. He could have giggled right then and there, but instead, he went for a quiet laugh, that ended as an airy chuckle as he made his way back to Gon.

Tears, blood, bruises, and a _smile._

As he thought, he would never abandon his best friend after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though it's a short drabble, I enjoyed writing in Killua's 12-year-old voice. I think his childishness shines through with this one in particular, and contrasting with his profession...it's quite a combo. 
> 
> Until I am hit with random inspiration once again! I will keep you all in suspense for my next piece (yes, I still have some saved up stuff)!~


End file.
